How To Anger 10 Vampires
by The Ender LAYYDAY
Summary: Yui, Shihoka, and Natsuki, are three brides who together, are completely evil! Watch as they torment 10 vampire brothers! (OCs, bad attempt humor, uncensored language. Don't sue me/report me, I don't own Diabolik Lovers.)
1. SAUSAGE

Prompt: Yui, Shihoka, and Natsuki sing a song for the brothers. In the middle of lunch. With everyone watching. (Warning: Uncensored cursing, blunt OCs, "sausage,")

Yui looked at Shihoka and Natsuki, who were smiling. "We're going to say the nastiest lines, and you to Yui." The blonde sighed. Unfortunately, she was the only voice of reason, thinking of what Reiji would do when they got back home. "Reiji-kun and Ruki-kun are going to kill us." But she stood up on the table with them all anyway, prepared for the circumstances. Both the Mukami's and Sakamaki's look across the room to see what's going on. It's silent, as Ryouko suddenly starts stomping and yells:

 _ **"**_ _ **EVERYBODY SAY SAUSAGE KEEP IT GOING! EGGS BACON GRITS-"**_

All of them screamed, _ **"**_ _ **SAUSAGE!"**_

 _ **Yui yells: "TELL A FUCKBOY HE GOT A ITTY BITTY-"**_

 _ **"**_ _ **SAUSAGE!"**_

 _ **Hoshino yells: "I GOTTA BIG ASS BUT I STILL TAKE THAT-"**_

 _ **"**_ _ **SAUSAGE!"**_

 _ **Nora yells: "I'M A WHITE BITCH BUT I STILL TAKE THAT-"**_

 _ **"**_ _ **SAUSAGE!"**_

 _ **Arisu yells: "I'M A VIRGIN BUT I SUCK ON THAT-"**_

 _ **"**_ _ **SAUSAGE!"**_

 _ **Shihoka yells: "I TAKE IT UP THE ASS SO GIVE ME YOUR-"**_

 _ **"**_ _ **SAUSAGE!"**_

 _ **Mariko yells: "YEAH I READ BOOKS BUT THEY ALL ABOUT THAT-"**_

 _ **"**_ _ **SAUSAGE!"**_

 _ **Hiro yells: "I GOT BIG TITTIES BUT I STILL TAKE THAT-"**_

 _ **"**_ _ **SAUSAGE!"**_

 _ **Kana yells: "SSA SA SA SA SA SA SASA SA SAUSAGE!"**_

They all suddenly look over at Natsuki, who says very loudly, **"I eat pussy can I still have that sausage?"** All of them scream _**"YES!"**_ All the brothers look over in horror (obviously Reiji and Ruki), shock (probably Kanato, Azusa, Subaru) or just pure amusement (meaning Kou, Ayato, Laito, and Yuma) at Yui, Shihoka, and Natsuki, who live with them. Everyone had their phones out and recording as they were dancing on the table, singing a song about 'sausage.' "SHIHOKA! NATSUKI! YUI!" Natsuki's eyes widened at the sound of anger. "Shit, run!"


	2. Shu gets nominated!

**_A/N: Hello everyone! Due to popular demand (can't believe that! Six comments already! You people are awesome!) and the fact I need somewhere to dump my weird Diabolik Lovers ideas, this will probably turn into a one shot book._**

 ** _Also, thank you to Asheleven (did I spell that right? Sorry if I didn't!) for being my first commenter!_**

* * *

Shu slept silently on the couch, his headphones in and his music up, so he couldn't hear Shihoka and Natsuki snooping around him. Currently, all thirteen residents (yes thirteen, thanks to a certain someone *cough*Ayato*cough* burning down the Mukami mansion. Reiji could _very well_ see **_what_** the two were doing, and if it were any other brother, he would stop it, but this was Shu. "What are you two doing?" Subaru asked, as he sitting next to the sleeping vampire and did _not_ want to be caught in the cross fire of their chaos. Again. (Hint hint: the "sausage" incident and the aftermath)

Shihoka smiled widely, but this was her evil, this-is-definitely-not-okay smile. "I'll just say that... Shu's in for a _nasty_ surprise when he wakes up. If he doesn't get shocked first." Natsuki snickered, holding up a bucket that had some kind of liquid inside. "Is this really a good idea?" Yui opened her mouth to again be the voice of reason, but as usual, the two sisters ignored her. "What's inside the bucket, Chichinashi?" Yui sighed. "You're about to find out. In three... Two... One..."

Natsuki then said, "I nominate Shu Sakamaki for the ice bucket challenge."

Shihoka took the more... Aggressive approach. "TAKE THIS BITCH!"

And both girls poured down the water at Shu, Reiji trying to cover up his snickers with his hand. Shu, who realized he was suddenly very cold and couldn't breathe, woke up and flailing, and fell off the couch. His shocked expression quickly turned into an angry one. "What the hell was that for?" He grinded his teeth together, trying to keep calm. "Sleep in my bath tub again, fucker. Go ahead and see what happens." Shihoka then dropped the bucket on the ground, walking off with her middle fingers both in the air. Natsuki on the other hand, was still laughing. "We got you good! I can't believe you didn't wake up before we did that!" He only glared harsher. Well, the rest of the room was laughing at the very hilarious spectacle of the soaking older brother. He then turned his glare on Reiji, who only smirked in return.

"Son of a bitch, you were in on this, weren't you?" Yui was trying to cover up her guilty smile, but Shu caught her. "How many of you knew about this?!" Reiji spoke through his laughter, "I'm going to deny it... Just me, Yui, Natsuki, and Shihoka." "It was my idea though..." If looks could kill, Yui would be six feet unDer ground. "I didn't think she would take me seriously!" Said girl then walked back in the room.

"By the way, yes, I spread my evil through everyone. Including Reiji." Then walked out the room again, Natsuki following this time. "I'm just her henchwoman. I hench."

So whenever Shihoka has water, Shu teleports to the other side of the room, and makes sure she doesn't come over. Because she has done this for the second time.

* * *

Bonus scene: Shihoka, Yui, and Natsuki ran down the halls, just narrowly escaping Reiji and Ruki's wrath. "Keep running!" Well they did.

Straight into Subaru.

He was not happy when he saw footprints on his face and his chest.


	3. Misleadings, chops, and bonus scenes

A/N: SOOOOO hello wonderful readers and commentors of this story! I have the most random ass question in my mind and decided to write it out and ask you guys: What do you think Shihoka and Natsuki look like? I'm 99% sure that I haven't revealed their appearances, but I think I may have given hints. (Hint: Natsuki and Shihoka are not related.) Also, sorry for not updating, my laptop broke down. I'm on my Birthgiver's tablet right now!

* * *

"It's so much! Are you sure it'll all fit?"

"I'm sure."

"Alright... Don't let too much out okay?"

"Stay still, or it's going to hurt!"

There was a long moment of silence after that. "What the fuck are they doing?!" Natsuki exclaimed. For the past thirty minutes, they heard Kanato and Shihoka making a lot of banging noises and talking loudly.

"It sounds like..." Yui trailed off. "They're having sex." Laito said rather bluntly. Reiji and Shihoka both choked (THEY BE CHOKIN ON DAT D THO), and Yui, deciding to be evil, add on, "right now." Yuma busted out laughing adding on, "In the kitchen." And Shu committed the ultimate evil, "Next to the dishes." What happened next didn't help Natsuki's case, as she was already walking to the kitchen.

"It's so hot!"

"Here; some of it's coming out your mouth."

"I guess you gave me a little too much."

"You still swallowed it all."

That sent Natsuki into a sprint, and the rest of them teleported in front of the kitchen door, as Natsuki screamed.

"THAT'S MY IMOUTO THERE, DON'T COERCE HER INTO SUCKING ON YOUR DICK! YOU SWEETS LOVING PERVERT!"

...

...

...

...

Kanato and Shihoka drinking hot chocolate. Shihoka currently had a cold wash cloth on her right hand. "Natsuki... What the actual fuck is wrong with you?!"

Let's just say Natsuki now has large hand prints of both sides of her face. And Yui, Yuma, Laito, and Shu got punched for making her think that.

* * *

BONUS SCENE: Shihoka stood in front of Reiji with a book in her hand. "Shihoka..." Said vampire raised an eyebrow, but went back to reading. "CHOP!" For a small girl, she hit pretty fucking hard. Reiji was walking around with a bruise on his face for the rest of the day. And the nearly everyone laughed when he told them a 4'11 girl hit him in the face with a book.

...

...

BONUS SCENE #2: "I didn't know bitch-chan could be so perverted..." Laito hummed' standing behind Yui who hand't noticed him yet. "OH HELL NO!" Natsuki flew across the room, delivering a kick to Laito's face. Yui turned around, as Natsuki innocently waved. "Hello Natsu-chan." "Hi Yui!" Once Yui turned around, Shihoka calmly went back to kicking the shit of out Raito.


	4. Let's play: The penis game!

Prompt: Shihoka, Natsuki, and Yui play a do not go well.

"Penis." Ayato raised an eyebrow at that. Currently, all three girls were upstairs in Natsuki's room (which I've placed directly over the living room."

"PENIS!" This time it caught all the attention. "What the fuck?" Subaru looked up, seeing the lights slightly shaking. Natsuki had just screamed penis for no reason.

 _"PENIS!"_ Reiji sighed, pushing up his glasses. "God's sake, what the hell are they doing?" He was then interrupted by

 **"DICK!"** Shu sat up, obviously annoyed. "So noisy..."

 _ **"DIICK!"**_ Yuma ddidn't care if snickering wasn't appropriate at the time, but the thought of the girls screaming about genitals was pretty funny.

" _ **FUCKING DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!"**_ Laito was currently the only one who knew what was going on, but being the perverted dick face that he is, kept his mouth shut and teleported with the rest of the brothers.

 ** _"SHITTY ASS DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKKKKKK!"_** They came in to see Shihoka screeching and red faced.

...

..."What the hell are you three doing?" Shihoka turned innocently to Reiji. "Yui taught us how to play the penis game." Natsuki smiled widely, "so we decided to play it." Yui face palmed. "Fucking hell!" "Yui!" "What?" Ruki sighed, and of course, Kou and Laito just so happened to say at the same time:

"When did the penis game turn into screaming about dick?" Ruki and Reiji both turned to them. "You knew what they were doing and you said nothing?" "Yup. It was worth it hearing bitch-chan and Mijikai-chan scream about dicks."

* * *

Bonus Scene: Shihoka stood up and glared fiercely at Laito. "I'M NOT SHORT YOU LITTLE FUCKING DICK! LET ME SHOVE MY FOOT SO FAR UP YOUR OWN ASS I'LL LOSE MY GOD DAMN SHOE IN IT!" Needless to say... Laito ran as fast as he could but still ended up with a large footprint on his ass. IT surprisingly take four vampires to keep an angry Shihoka from killing someone.


	5. Why Yui isn't aloud to drive EVER

_**Before we begin, I need to ask you guys some... When school comes back around, I want to publish a new story and it's between Diabolik Lovers/Tokyo Ghouls crossover, Vampire Knight, Ouran Highschool Host Club, or just Diabolik Lovers. Which one should I chose? Also thank you NoUsernameNeeded for commenting as much as you do! It's big for boosting my motivation (AKA the product of my imagination and boredom)!**_

* * *

The Mukami's and Sakamaki's were currently sitting in the back of their limo, when the partition (ask me if you dont know what that is!) rolled down. No one paid any attention, until Azusa suddenly said, "Ruki... why are the girls in the front? And why is Yui about to drive the limo?"

He went back to his book when Reiji said, "It's probably nothing."

 **"THEY'RE WHAT?"** Reiji and Ruki screamed, as the engine roared to life.

"Hold on tight boys, this is gonna be a bumpy ride!"

 ** _EARLIER THAT MORNING_**

"Shu, c-ive-mo-today?" Natsuki asked, as said blonde vampire sighed. He knew she asked him something, but didn't listen because his music was blasting. (Natsuki knew this, because well, she's telepathic and shit)

"Will you be quiet if I say yes?"

"Yes!"

"Alright."

 _ **BACK TO THE WORST FUCKING SITUATION/THE PRESENT**_

"SHU!" All the brothers turned to the now awake blonde, who only shrugged. "It can't be that bad."

Suddenly they all lurched forward, and Laito just happened to face plant. "Also, just know now that Yui's a-" **SCREEEEECH!** They all suddenly to the left, hearing the tires scream and the car swerve. "speed demon!"

 _ **"NO, YUI!"**_

(And How was the next 20 minutes spent?:

W) Trying to get Yui to slow down.

X) Being thrown around like pinball in the back seat.

Y) Attempting to protect themselves from slamming into each other.

Z) All of the above.

If you have chosen Z, you are correct!)

When they arrived at school, each brother stepped ourlooking horribly dishevled. "Yui..." Said girl turned around, smiling.

"'You're never, EVER, for as long as you live, are aloud to drive."

* * *

BONUS SCENE: Shihoka turned up the music, tuning out the boys screams.

"Oooohohohoh

Oooohohohoh

(You're gonna love this)

Oooohohohoh

(You can't touch this)

Oooohohohoh

(Cause I'm a bad bitch)." Yui and Shihoka both yelled, "THIS IS MA JAM!" And turned the radio all the way up.


	6. The Crack of Dawn

_**A/N: Hello! I made this at the (lliteral) ASS CRACK of dawn. Because it is 6:00am and I have yet to go to sleep... yes, I have stayed up until the ASS CRACK of dawn. My cousin and I had to go jogging yesterday and she was extremely tired. When I asked her why, she literally (I'm not lying. This is exactly what she said) told me she stayed up until Dawn was flashing it's ass crack. I've never laughed so fucking hard in my life.**_

* * *

Natsuki yawned and so did Shihoka. "I'm... so sleepy..." Each one went downstairs to face the brothers.

"What's wrong with you two? Mijikai-chan isn't as loud as she normally is." Kou tilted his head, as Shihoka glared at him.

"Do you want me catastrating (a surgery that cuts off your balls. OW.) your balls?" Kou sweatdropped. "No." He walked off.

When they got into the Limo (Yui as far away from the drivers seat as possible ) Azusa asked why they were both acting so weird.

"We're just tired." Yui yawned.

"Because we stayed up until the _**ASS**_ crack of _ **fucking**_ dawn."

"Oh my god Shihoka!" Yui busted out laughing, along with Natsuki.

"All of you have the worst manners..." Reiji mumbled, but he went completely ignored.

"You know we're tired if it's not the crack of dawn, _**A**_ _ **SS CRACK OF fucking dawn."**_

"Mijikai, what have you done to Chichinashi?!" Ayato exclaimed.

It was our job to influence Yui to be evil." Natsuki replied.

Shihoka glared at him. "I can beat in your balls. In this limo. RIGHT NOW. ON THE BLOCK. (Kevin Hart refrences) JUST CALL ME SHORT ONE MORE MOTHERFUCKING TIME." Said girl stood up in the moving limo (#no fear since she survived Yui the speed demon).

"Shihoka, sit dow-" "Mijikai."

"TASTE MY FOOT OF FURY." And as said, a kick to the face shut Ayato up very quick.

After they got out the limo, Yuma asked Shihoka a question.

"Why do you get mad whenever you get called short (I NEARLY SPELLED ABORT OH MY GAWD)?" Shihoka smiled evilness.

*Insert large ass black fire background here*

"Haven't you heard? Since we're closer to the ground, we're closer to the demon lord (what is with anime characters and the demon lord? XD)... Maybe I even am him." Yuma did not doubt that.

* * *

BONUS SCENE: "SHIHOKA, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU: NO FIGHTING IN THE LIMO! AND DON'T ANTAGONIZE HER, AYATO!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP, MEGANE!"

"BE QUIET TABLEWARE OTAKU!"

A tick mark appeared on reiji's forehead. "What is with you two and calling me names?!"


	7. WTF TIME (before back to school edition)

Prompt: I was angry. This is what happened.

* * *

Natsuki, Yui, and Shihoka glared at all ten of the brothers who were sitting in the limo. They were all arguing. Natsuki smirked at the shorter girls. "Well do you know what?" Said vampire raised an eyebrow, as Yui said: "You all..." She smiled even wider can..." Shihoka and the pair threw up their arms, smiling widely.

*LE LARGE ASS GASP INSERT RIGHT HERE*

"GO SUCK MY DICK!

SUCK MY DICK!

SUCK MY DICK!

SUCK MY MOTHERFUCKING DICK!

SUCK MY BIG FAT DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICKKKKKK!"

All of the brothers just stared, jaws open wide. "... Where the hell did you learn that song?" "Shihoka taught it to us. And we heard it on Youtube." Yui piped up.

* * *

BONUS SCENE: Shihoka, Yui, and Natsuki jumped out the limo, barrel (BARRELS) rolling and running toward their classes, screaming "SUCK MY DICK! SUCK MY DICK! SUCK MY MOTHERFUCKING DICK!" Getting weird looks from fangirls, who only saw ten very angry *extremely sexy* boys run after them.

"Ender-san, what the fuck just happened?" A random fangirl asked the author. "Youtube and boredom happened fangirl322-san... boredom and the fact that I'm raging at my brother. He deleted the chapter I was supposed to post. I'm sorry readers." BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL CAUSE YOU DON'T GIVE A FUCK.

"Hello, this is the fourth wall repair service." Having to call the fourth wall repair service cause there's a large ass hole in the fucking background.


End file.
